literature

This Is Our Sweet Blasphemy 034

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My thumb ran across the smooth back of the sand stone that I held in my hand. I studied it a moment longer before tossing it with a flick across the water. It skipped three times before being consumed by the waves. The pale moon light made the water sparkle and the sand turn a dull gray.

It was a quiet night, the waves being the only sound my ears picked up. I hugged my knees to my chest and looked out at the ocean, watching it. It'd been three days since the incident at school. The hang over sucked, and I vowed never to do drugs ever again. I'd learned my lesson.

Ashley hadn't been at school since, I'd heard rumors that he hadn't even contacted his coach. Everyone was talking, whispering among each other. Kina hadn't been at school either, most people passed it off due to her "pregnancy".

Had he confronted her? What had happened? All these questions swarmed my head, but I didn't try to find the answers to any of them. I'd chosen to just let things be, to try and go back to the way I was. It would hurt, no doubt, the pain in my heart reminded me how much he meant to me.

Even if he doesn't stay with Kina, he'll never come back to me. He was never really mine in the first place, and I was a fool to think that he was. I got played, used, end of story. It's high school and it happens. Life moves on and hearts heal.

Oh how I wished I believed that. I'd brought my notebook along with me, but even that didn't hold my interest. I just want to sit here, sit here and stare out into the ocean. The stars were bright in the clear sky, and I laid back to see them.

I closed my eyes and just listened to the waves crash against the sand.

I could feel him, sense him. I didn't even bother to open my eyes, I didn't have to.
"Why are you here?" I asked.

A few seconds of silence before a reply.
"I knew you'd be here" he said, his voice a bit rough.

He was standing by the rocks, resting his back against one. His hair blew lightly in the breeze as he kicked at the sand a bit. He had a leather jacket on and his famous cow boy boots. Just as amazing as ever.

'But that doesn't answer my question really, why'd you come?"
"I talked to Kina..."
"And?"
"You weren't lying... she was" he said with a somber tone.

I kept my mouth shut, unsure of what to say. I could rub it in his face, say I told you so. Say that I'd warned him, say that I was right and he'd been wrong. I didn't though, you don't do that to someone you love.

"I'm sorry, I know how much this meant to you"
"It's not your fault, I just got caught up in the fantasy" he said, his eyes falling upon me.

"I thought that this was my way out, it's not too much longer before I'll have to graduate and go to collage, try my best to make it big in football..."
"But you don't want that... do you?" I could tell by the way he said it.

"No I don't, I want to live my life the way I want to. I want to shed this past that my mother created for me and be free. I want to do music, I want to live my dreams and become something worth being, but again, that's a fantasy" I bit my lip.

"It doesn't have to be Ashley, you can do anything you want to if you just try hard enough"
"That's the answer I'd expect from someone like you, and for you that is an option, but we're from two different worlds Andy"

Everything in me wanted to just grab him and shake him, scream at him that he just had to jump. Take that leap of faith and just live without worrying about anything else. Throw caution to the wind, but deep in my heart I knew he couldn't do that. He was right, we're from two different worlds.

Reality and fantasy.

I stood up and slowly made my way over to where he was standing, stopping right in front of him. He sighed, looking me in the eyes. His thin lips showed no emotion, no smile, no frown. They were just simply there.

"I wish I could make your fantasy a reality" I whispered.

"And I wish..." he started but stopped. He bit his lip, and with a bit of hesitation softly caressed the side of my cheek. I closed my eyes, letting him, enjoying the feeling of his touch. I didn't question his reason.

"... I wish that I could be like you."
"What do you mean... like me?" I really don't see what's so great about me. It's been made all but obvious to me that my entire life I've been nothing. I'm a nobody.

"You live your life the way you want. You are who you are whether people accept it or not. Through all of this I've learned that nothing in my life at school is real. It's all some sham that I've put on. My friends aren't really my friends. They're only friends to the illusion I've created of myself"

"... no one would accept who I really am. And I wish that I didn't care about that, I wish that none of that mattered."

"But you... you accepted me... even after you learned the truth."
"Ashley..." I whispered, stopping him.

"Yes?"
"... I love you" I stepped back with those words, opening my eyes and thought of running. I'm just putting more pressure on him, I'm only making things more complicated. He made it clear that he doesn't love me, but I'm not letting him go.

I didn't run though, I stood there and watched him.

"You still love me?" I only nodded in response. .

"I never stopped"
"Andrew I am so sorry, I should have never let you go. I should have given you what you deserved, I should have told you that... I love you too"

I swore my heart stopped for a full few seconds. I couldn't even speak and my legs felt like Jello. The next thing I knew his lips were on mine, his arms wrapped tightly around me.

"I love you so much Andy, and I tired to hide it. I can't though I can't live a lie anymore"
"Oh Ashley" I cried, tears flowing down my cheeks.

"I'm done with this game, It's time I started being myself... and I can't do that without you"
"You won't have to" I promised him, lacing our fingers together.

We both fell back on the sand in each other's arms. Clothes became a pile and all I could feel was him. His lips pressed to my hot neck as I screamed his name, pain and pleasure coursing through my body.

It was like a dream, it was a fantasy. He'd joined my world, he'd jumped, he'd taken that leap of faith.

---

We've been together almost two months now since that night.

Ashley ended up dropping off the football team much to the shock of the school and his coaches. He made up and excuse that he'd rather focus solely on his school work. Not too surprising was the fact that his so called "friends" now wanted nothing to do with him. He didn't seem to mind though, school was almost over anyways and he'd graduate.

He'd joined my band as our new bassist and spent countless hours over at home with me helping me write. With the help of Scout and I (we'd made up and were back to being best friends again) we got his mom into a rehab center.

Kina had come up with some sob miscarriage story that all her friends believed. She'd gone back to being miss popularity and is now dating the new caption of the football team. None of that matters though.

Things for once were going perfect. The nobody and the somebody, the outlaw and the outcast. Finally together in the end. Though people might not accept it, hell even like it, none of that matters.

This is our sweet blasphemy.

-The End-
Yay, so thank you so much for sticking with me till the end here. It was a lot of fun writing this story and I'm glad I actually finished it (seeing how most my work gets abandoned). I love all of you guys so much and I appropriate all the nice comments and messages. And as promised I've already started planning my next Andley story out for you guys :3

Again, many thanks and I hope to see you all soon on my next story <3
© 2012 - 2024 PATDRydenforever21
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Cordibee's avatar
Poor Matt though...